Taking this picture in #Bexhill on Sea, East Sussex reminded of that feeling of being trapped, being in a place that you can't get out of. These guys look pretty miserable don't they.
What about if you are on the fence, according to Wendy Shuller in her article Relationships in Crisis she suggest getting relationship counselling even if your partner will not attend.
What are are the warning signs to help you decide whether your relationship is in crisis:
You are repulsed by your spouse and do not want to be alone with them. Being in different postal codes would be even better. Sex is a distant memory. Doing things together is just not your cup of tea. You do not even like them and feel trapped being in the relationship. This is not the same as couples losing the spark that initially attracted them to each other. That often can be relit by a holiday in an exotic local or discovering a new passion that draws them back together.
Are your beliefs and ethics opposite? When a spouse continues to have affairs and states that you are overreacting, then consider making a permanent exit. It is being callous with complete disregard for your feelings to say you are the one with the problem, since you cannot accept it. This repeated bad behaviour with no remorse, is showing a lack of respect for you.
Your partner has an addiction and no amount of rehab has stopped it. There are repeated promises and tears, yet the problem remains. It could be gambling away your joint finances or being impaired. You have been patient but enough is enough. It is not healthy for you to watch someone you love self-destruct with this slow suicide. Stop playing a part in their destructive drama and walk away to protect your well-being.
One or both of you are completely indifferent. You may lead separate lives but still share the same address. Having a spouse turn into a roommate keeps you trapped in a rut. Consider breaking free to have a fulfilling life and the opportunity to meet someone else. Getting a divorce takes money and energy and this may not be the path you choose at this moment in time.
You both may have metamorphosed into quite different people during the marriage. Individually you two may be happy and fulfilled, but out of sync as a couple. People can drift so far apart over the years that they cannot sustain a marriage and this brings stress.
Whether you have decided that you need to separate or divorce or are unsure, contact us by email or ring Deborah on 07956 591 000 or Jo on 07415 857 186 to discuss your circumstances so that we can help you.